Sometimes as a mom I feel like I am being led around by my day, moving from one thing to the next, putting out fires. I have a feeling of being behind or unproductive. Sometimes at the end of the day I am not able to come up with one thing that I did that seems of value. Have you ever felt this way?

I feel that I need to learn more about leadership. Leadership in parenting and particularly in mothering. I wasn’t raised in a traditional home, with father and mother leading the way. I was raised in somewhat of a survival or crisis mode for a large portion of my growing up years, and because of this, I feel unsure as to how I am supposed to properly function as a mother. I am unsure how to lead, be the example, be the mentor.

I strive to teach my children my religious beliefs and to teach them the value of work and education. I try to teach them to love each other and serve each other and to look for ways to serve others. I try to live what I teach, as I know that actions speak louder than words.

It is a strange thing to be in the middle of raising children and realize that I still have so much to learn.

I recently read an article on Meridian Magazine that helped me to see a vision of what a difference I can make with the little things I do everyday.

The Happiest Place: A Dangerous Woman

This article really helped me feel the importance of doing the little things as a mother. Reading stories, singing songs, teaching a child to make cookies, etc. All of these little things are ways that I can be a better leader and mother and have a greater influence over my children.

I began reading a book last night by a woman named Nicholeen Peck. It is about family government, and as with any new system begun in the home, it has to start with the parents. It starts with me, changing my behavior in order to help my children change their behaviors.

I will continue to share what I learn as I strive to live with more direction in my mothering and leading my family.

I am excited to learn more and be a better mom. I am excited to learn and practice living, really living and enjoying life with my family!

Please share any experiences with your motherhood leadership journey. I would love to learn from you!

Tags: Children
Filed under: Journal Entry, Mom Notes

Inspiration is a funny thing. It can come from the most unexpected things, in the most unexpected ways.

My next to the oldest daughter Emma has recently taken a fancy to butterflies. She worked hard to earn a butterfly catching net, and has been busily catching and studying butterflies. One day a few weeks ago, Emma found a caterpillar. She captured it, and placed it in a Mason jar. She then fed it upon the leaves on which it was found. For the next few days the caterpillar ate and ate. Then, one day it turned into a chrysalis. I thought that was THE coolest thing!

It was just a waiting game after that. I am sure you can imagine how excited Emma was to get to watch a butterfly be born. Each day she would check the chrysalis to see if it was close to being ready. Upon further study, the children discovered that this caterpillar could turn in to a Swallowtail butterfly. The excitement grew as the chrysalis began to change slowly.

This past weekend we had the opportunity to go and see family for the holiday weekend. We were only going to be gone one night. Emma came to me and pleaded with me to bring her jar which contained the chrysalis. She feared that the butterfly would emerge while we were gone. I told her that one more day would be fine, and insisted that she wouldn’t want to carry the jar the entire three hour drive. She said she wouldn’t mind, but in the end I won out and the jar was left at home.

When we returned home the chrysalis had changed dramatically. The end had turned a darkish brown color and there was what looked like a gash in one side. We thought that it was just about ready to be hatched, but sent her to bed, knowing that it would probably emerge in the morning.

The next morning we were just beginning to sing for our morning devotional, and someone gasped. There it was, in all of it’s splendor and glory. The swallow tail butterfly. The butterfly had emerged and somehow had made it’s way from the kitchen counter in the jar, to our back door. We all gathered around the Swallowtail, and realized something devastating. Because the butterfly had emerged in the jar since we weren’t there to let it out, it’s wings had hardened with a slight curl to them. As I am sure you can imagine, a Swallowtail butterfly wouldn’t fit in a Mason jar very well.

I was in tears. Here we were watching this poor butterfly try to fly, and it was flying wobbly and weakly because of how it’s wings had formed. If I had only listened! Emma was inspired and she had known that her butterfly would be emerging soon. If I had only let her bring the jar, this could have all been avoided. Emma would have gotten to see the butterfly hatch, which would have been amazing for her, and this poor beautiful Swallowtail, would have been able to fly away happily, and survive.

I learned much from this lesson. The most important thing being, listen to the inspiration of others, especially my children. They have insights to things that I may not recognize or notice because I am too busy. The second thing is the realization that inconvenience to myself, for something that is important to my child, is worth it! The third thing I learned is how important and precious God’s creatures are to me. This little butterfly sacrificed so much so that I could learn from it’s life to be better in mine.

I apologized profusely to Emma. I felt horrible. She forgave me right away, which was wonderful. I wish I had been more humble and listened to her inspiration.

This was an incredible and sad lesson for me in learning to listen to and trust my child’s inspiration. I hope to do better with this in the future.

Have you ever had experiences like this one, where you received inspiration that came from your children? If so, I would love to hear about it!

Filed under: Journal Entry

I have learned a LOT about marriage, and what it takes to have a not so happy one in the last twelve years. I didn’t think I was having a not so happy marriage. I thought my marriage was just fine. I was busy taking care of the children, the house, life at home. Thinking everything was going well. Now as I reflect on it, I realize that things were not going well at all. My dear husband was spending less and less time with me and our children. When he would arrive home from work, I would be busily making dinner and dealing with the nightly rituals. I rarely did more than passively ask him how his day was, and not really wait to listen to the answer. I was one track minded. Over focused on what “needed” to be done, and being exhausted at the end of a long day.

I didn’t see my husband coming home, day after day feeling like all he was to me was a paycheck. All he needed was for me to wrap my arms around him and give him a great big kiss and tell him how important he was to me. He needed me. Not the me that is the mother, the housecleaner, the organizer. He needed me, his best friend, his love, his number one cheerleader.

Well, recently all of these things were brought to my attention. I was reminded in a very painful and difficult way, that my sweet husband, is a human being, with basic needs. I had begun to believe that he was someone that didn’t really have needs. He worked hard to tell me that was true, but in the end he was just fooling both of us.

As important as being a mother is to me, I have learned how much more important it is for me to be a wife. Frankly, the children will grow up and leave some day. They aren’t as invested in my family as I am, but my husband…that is a different story.

I am learning that working on my marriage is the most important work I can do. Even more important than raising good, well adjusted, well educated children. I am learning this lesson the hard way, (which isn’t unusual for me).

I have been trying for a few months now to ask my self these kinds of questions each day: Have you hugged your husband today? Have you showed him you love him? Have you thought of him before yourself in some area of your life today? Have you done something special for him today? Have you showed him how important he is to you today?

After all is said and done, isn’t having a healthy happy marriage the BEST thing you can do for your children?

Tags: Children, Husbands, Marriage
Filed under: Journal Entry

I have been noting that my dear children seem to be quarreling and fighting a lot lately. I am unsure if it is because of budding hormones, or what. Nevertheless, they have been fighting, arguing and generally making life unpleasant for each other.

When there is disharmony in my home I tend to begin to focus a lot on what is causing the disharmony and work hard to come up with a cure.The quarreling problem is no exception to this rule.

I have been reading and learning a lot about relationships lately, about the marriage relationship in particular. I have been reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary D. Chapman. In one part of the book it talks about how your spouse’s complaints are clues to discover their love language. I am also attending a class about marriage, and last week we were learning about communication. As I was sitting in class the two concepts collided.

My children’s arguing and quarreling ways were giving me specific clues as to what problems they are having. They aren’t communicating properly with one another. I also realized that I haven’t taught them about communication as specifically as they may be needing at this time.
My husband and I have been working hard since that epiphany to teach our children better communication skills. They are in no way perfect at it, after only a weeks practice, but I have noticed a significant drop in the quarreling!

This whole experience has taught me that the problems or disharmony we see in our children and in our families are HUGE blessings! Seeing problems gives us clues as to what changes need to be made in our families, or in ourselves for that matter.

Have you had any experiences with these kinds of clues in your family? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Filed under: Mom Notes

I received a wonderful surprise in my e-mail inbox this morning. A comment from someone who found my blog while searching for information about nobility in womanhood and joy in motherhood. This dear reader reminded me why I started Women As Mothers in the first place. This website was founded because of my desire to reach out to women in the world who have similar views of motherhood and womanhood. I believe that I had lost sight of that along the way. I had forgotten that I was sharing my journey, and I had felt I wasn’t reaching anyone anymore anyway. Now I know differently.

I have been through much in this last year. I have learned many things and I am learning much, and I believe, thanks to this dear reader, that it is time to share the things I am learning again. It is time to bring others on my journey again.

You may feel a different tone in my writing, I will be putting more of a focus on being a wife in addition to being a mother. I am learning much about what it means to be a wife right now. What I wish I had done differently in the past twelve years of marriage, and what I will do differently for the future.

Thank you dear reader. Thank you for reminding me that I love writing, and why I began in the first place! Stay tuned. I am writing again.

Tags: Motherhood, Wife, Writing
Filed under: Journal Entry

I just wanted to write an update on here in case anyone is still reading. The birth of my seventh went well, but it was extremely painful. The most painful I have ever experienced. To get a more detailed story visit my other blog at www.texasmuse.com.

Having seven children, being really active in my church and homeschooling keeps me really busy. I am enjoying this however and have learned that I can do hard and difficult things. It is a good feeling to know that I can have a pile of things to do and not much time and with the Lord multiplying my efforts, I can accomplish them all. “With God all things are possible.” I know this to be true.

Filed under: Children

If anyone is still reading this blog I think it has been since April that I wrote last. I guess that I am in a learning curve right now, and I will hopefully get to the sharing part of that curve some time.

I did have one bit of insight that I wanted to share. I was thinking about children and how differ. Since I am at the end of my pregnancy I have had that thought on my mind even more. The diversity that I have within my family is astounding. All of my children are so unique and I can’t really compare them to each other because of that fact. I used to believe when I only had one child that if a child was difficult it was the fault of the parent. I have been disabused of that notion. I have learned that a child can be really difficult and it is just the child’s personality. I have also learned that sometimes it can be a stage the child is going through and that it is temporary.

Anyway, that is my tidbit for today. Being unique is a gift from God. He created us that way and it doesn’t make you a bad mother if you have a unique or difficult child. That child probably has an important mission to fulfill in this life and you were the only one who could help that child prepare for that mission.

Thanks for reading!

Filed under: Journal Entry

Last night my husband showed me how to view the statistics on my site and I discovered that there are quite a few people reading my blog. Wow! Thank you for reading even though my writings are few and far between.

If you have never commented on my site before, here is your chance! Please comment and introduce yourself! I would love to meet you and know what you think of my site or anything else you want to share.

I started this website as an outlet for me to talk about motherhood, but I wanted this website so that I could connect with other mothers who value motherhood like I do. If you have any questions, comments or experiences about being a mother, please feel free to share. Or if you are a dad who would like to comment, please feel free! My husband is very involved in the rearing of our children and we are in it together. Dads, if you have an experience please feel free to share!

If you have commented before please comment again! If you are a friend or family member, please join in, I always love to hear from you too!

Sometimes it is hard for me to figure out what to write, is there anything you are interested in knowing about me? If you have a question about parenting and would like to hear from anyone reading my site as to what their advice would be, e-mail me a question and I will post it up so anyone who wants to comment or help out can!

Thank you again for reading!

Filed under: Mom Notes

I was very surprised but excited to find that I am expecting my seventh child! Thankfully my morning sickness hasn’t been as bad as I have had with some of my other children. Although I still feel pretty icky.
I know that morning sickness is a good sign that things are developing healthily inside, and that is a nice assurance. I don’t have morning sickness though, I have all day and night sickness. I have tried every remedy that people have thrown at me, I even tried taking a prescription anti-nausea pill. Nothing helps, I just have to endure through this. Four more weeks and I should be feeling much better. Hopefully!

I am a bit nervous about having another little one. My post-partum depression after Hannah was so severe. I don’t think that will be the case this time since it has been a while since I have been pregnant, but I will be watching for signs.

Again, posting will probably be few and far between, but those of you who check up on my site regularly already know that is how I post. Thanks for reading!

Filed under: Announcements, Journal Entry

As I am sure you can imagine, moving is a big adjustment. Especially for children. So far, my children seem to be adjusting pretty well. Texas is a wonderful place and we are very happy here. The children have struggled with missing friends thus they are on the phone with them almost weekly. Other than that we have all been adjusting pretty well.

Christmas without snow was a new one for me, I survived however. I am enjoying the weather now, and I am enjoying not having to deal with all of the winter colds and such.

All in all we are adjusting well to our new environment and we are now trying to get into more of a normal routine. I will keep you posted!

Filed under: Journal Entry