I was speaking with a couple of my friends a few weeks ago and we began talking about our bodies. You know how the conversation goes…”you wouldn’t want to see me in a swimsuit”. Those of us who have had children understand what I am talking about. I would describe my physical appearance as something like a balloon that has been blown up and deflated a few too many times. You know how a balloon looks after it has been deflated. It never takes on its’ original shape again.

Fearing that I was complaining too much about my appearance, and the ingratitude I was expressing, I began to talk about the great sacrifice we make as women to bring life into this world. How we literally sacrifice what we want for something greater. The thought occurred to me as I was speaking how this sacrifice of self could be likened unto the parable of the talents. The one found in the book of Matthew in the Bible.

The man delivered talents to his servants in different amounts. He expected them to go and sacrifice and take chances to multiply what they had been given. I realized that this parable could be likened to having a body and using our body for that which it was designed. In the parable it didn’t matter how much of an increase was made on the talents, only that there was an increase. The one who took the talent and buried it, received no reward in the end.

This realization brought me great understanding. I feel that even if you are trying to have children and you are unable, you are still striving to invest your talent, which is all that God expects.

Likening that parable to the sacrifice we make to have children brings such peace to my heart, especially when I meet someone who says they “only” have one child or “only” three or whatever number that is less than mine. I have never been quite sure what to say, but now I can say; good for you!!! You have multiplied your talent! Awesome!

I believe that just as in the parable of the talents, there will be an accounting for me some day. I will be asked what I did with the talents the Lord gave to me. I try to remember this when I look in the mirror and my jeans are just not looking right on me or whatever negative feeling I am tempted to feel about my body.

Being a mother is the most wonderful and important thing we can do with our lives. It is our most important talent. No earthly recognition or perfect beach ready body can compensate for the eternal goal of shepherding children to their eternal destinies!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Filed under: Journal Entry, Mom Notes

At the end of January my youngest daughter had her sixth birthday and she lost her first tooth the day before. I cried. I cried! I guess it didn’t strike me until that moment that my little baby girl is really growing up. I SO loved being a mother to that no longer tiny girl. It’s funny. I never thought that something as simple as losing a tooth could make me cry. My husband commented to me how he loved that I would cry over something like that. He says that it shows how much I love being a mother. And to tell you the truth, that is exactly true! I LOVE being a mother. What greater work can I do in this life?

It is strange, but I feel a transition in my motherhood stage. Have any of you moms out there experienced that feeling? Even though I still have a two year old, I am not a young mother anymore, with more in diapers than not. I am not going to be having and holding anymore tiny babies of my own who love me just the way I am, warts and all.

The task I am now realizing I am facing is preparing my children to leave… leave. I can’t believe it! Judging by how fast time has already passed, I will be an empty nester before I can blink. What must I do now? How can I best prepare for all the changes my children are going through, and will go through? Have I done enough? What more can I do? These questions didn’t even enter my mind a few years ago. But now…now I only have a few years left with my oldest daughter before she will be off into the world. I hope I have reached her, taught her and helped her prepare enough for her mission in life.

How did this happen? How did life change so quickly from diapers and late nights, to dating and late nights? From busy running around chasing after toddlers to running children to this activity and that?

I have had the goal for many years now to enjoy the time I have with my children as much as possible so that I can look back on these years and know that I enjoyed them, and not just survived them. Am I accomplishing that goal? It is interesting to think about. It seemed to be so much easier then during the diaper years to find joy in the every day. Now it feels like I don’t have time to stop and enjoy. Things are moving too fast.

I love being a mother. I can think of nothing in this life that is more challenging to heart and soul, body and mind and yet so richly wonderful at the same time. I am so thankful for the time I have had and will have with my children. Being a mother is a privilege beyond compare.

Filed under: Children, Mom Notes

I am sorry to leave you hanging so long. I know that it has been months since I have written. I am sure the big question on everyone’s mind is…what did I think of the book? Well, to tell you the truth, I haven’t finished it yet. I feel like I have been living and learning instead.

One part of the book in particular that stands out to me was the part about listening. Looking at why your child is upset or throwing a fit, instead of just rushing into conclusions and reactions. Reading that part of the book was really good for me because it reminded me of what I needed to get back to doing. Really listening and watching the children as they go through their life. Try harder to understand them. I needed that reminder very much.

I will post again when I can. I do love the chance to reflect upon the wonderful gifts that motherhood brings. So much is changing in my life with my children. They truly are growing up and I am starting to feel the beginning of what it will be like when they are gone. I am trying as I have often tried, to enjoy the moments. To live, right now. Enjoy that last tiny feet, and cute comments, the funny moments and things my children do, that have me rolling on the floor laughing. I feel like I am in the summer season of rearing children, and with my oldest I am at the cusp of fall.

I am so grateful that God gives us time to figure things out with our children, and yet it feels that when we finally get things figured out, we are done with that phase of life. Life seems to work that way with more than just child rearing.

Thanks for reading!

Tags: Motherhood
Filed under: Uncategorized

Sometimes as a mom I feel like I am being led around by my day, moving from one thing to the next, putting out fires. I have a feeling of being behind or unproductive. Sometimes at the end of the day I am not able to come up with one thing that I did that seems of value. Have you ever felt this way?

I feel that I need to learn more about leadership. Leadership in parenting and particularly in mothering. I wasn’t raised in a traditional home, with father and mother leading the way. I was raised in somewhat of a survival or crisis mode for a large portion of my growing up years, and because of this, I feel unsure as to how I am supposed to properly function as a mother. I am unsure how to lead, be the example, be the mentor.

I strive to teach my children my religious beliefs and to teach them the value of work and education. I try to teach them to love each other and serve each other and to look for ways to serve others. I try to live what I teach, as I know that actions speak louder than words.

It is a strange thing to be in the middle of raising children and realize that I still have so much to learn.

I recently read an article on Meridian Magazine that helped me to see a vision of what a difference I can make with the little things I do everyday.

The Happiest Place: A Dangerous Woman

This article really helped me feel the importance of doing the little things as a mother. Reading stories, singing songs, teaching a child to make cookies, etc. All of these little things are ways that I can be a better leader and mother and have a greater influence over my children.

I began reading a book last night by a woman named Nicholeen Peck. It is about family government, and as with any new system begun in the home, it has to start with the parents. It starts with me, changing my behavior in order to help my children change their behaviors.

I will continue to share what I learn as I strive to live with more direction in my mothering and leading my family.

I am excited to learn more and be a better mom. I am excited to learn and practice living, really living and enjoying life with my family!

Please share any experiences with your motherhood leadership journey. I would love to learn from you!

Tags: Children
Filed under: Journal Entry, Mom Notes

Inspiration is a funny thing. It can come from the most unexpected things, in the most unexpected ways.

My next to the oldest daughter Emma has recently taken a fancy to butterflies. She worked hard to earn a butterfly catching net, and has been busily catching and studying butterflies. One day a few weeks ago, Emma found a caterpillar. She captured it, and placed it in a Mason jar. She then fed it upon the leaves on which it was found. For the next few days the caterpillar ate and ate. Then, one day it turned into a chrysalis. I thought that was THE coolest thing!

It was just a waiting game after that. I am sure you can imagine how excited Emma was to get to watch a butterfly be born. Each day she would check the chrysalis to see if it was close to being ready. Upon further study, the children discovered that this caterpillar could turn in to a Swallowtail butterfly. The excitement grew as the chrysalis began to change slowly.

This past weekend we had the opportunity to go and see family for the holiday weekend. We were only going to be gone one night. Emma came to me and pleaded with me to bring her jar which contained the chrysalis. She feared that the butterfly would emerge while we were gone. I told her that one more day would be fine, and insisted that she wouldn’t want to carry the jar the entire three hour drive. She said she wouldn’t mind, but in the end I won out and the jar was left at home.

When we returned home the chrysalis had changed dramatically. The end had turned a darkish brown color and there was what looked like a gash in one side. We thought that it was just about ready to be hatched, but sent her to bed, knowing that it would probably emerge in the morning.

The next morning we were just beginning to sing for our morning devotional, and someone gasped. There it was, in all of it’s splendor and glory. The swallow tail butterfly. The butterfly had emerged and somehow had made it’s way from the kitchen counter in the jar, to our back door. We all gathered around the Swallowtail, and realized something devastating. Because the butterfly had emerged in the jar since we weren’t there to let it out, it’s wings had hardened with a slight curl to them. As I am sure you can imagine, a Swallowtail butterfly wouldn’t fit in a Mason jar very well.

I was in tears. Here we were watching this poor butterfly try to fly, and it was flying wobbly and weakly because of how it’s wings had formed. If I had only listened! Emma was inspired and she had known that her butterfly would be emerging soon. If I had only let her bring the jar, this could have all been avoided. Emma would have gotten to see the butterfly hatch, which would have been amazing for her, and this poor beautiful Swallowtail, would have been able to fly away happily, and survive.

I learned much from this lesson. The most important thing being, listen to the inspiration of others, especially my children. They have insights to things that I may not recognize or notice because I am too busy. The second thing is the realization that inconvenience to myself, for something that is important to my child, is worth it! The third thing I learned is how important and precious God’s creatures are to me. This little butterfly sacrificed so much so that I could learn from it’s life to be better in mine.

I apologized profusely to Emma. I felt horrible. She forgave me right away, which was wonderful. I wish I had been more humble and listened to her inspiration.

This was an incredible and sad lesson for me in learning to listen to and trust my child’s inspiration. I hope to do better with this in the future.

Have you ever had experiences like this one, where you received inspiration that came from your children? If so, I would love to hear about it!

Filed under: Journal Entry

I have learned a LOT about marriage, and what it takes to have a not so happy one in the last twelve years. I didn’t think I was having a not so happy marriage. I thought my marriage was just fine. I was busy taking care of the children, the house, life at home. Thinking everything was going well. Now as I reflect on it, I realize that things were not going well at all. My dear husband was spending less and less time with me and our children. When he would arrive home from work, I would be busily making dinner and dealing with the nightly rituals. I rarely did more than passively ask him how his day was, and not really wait to listen to the answer. I was one track minded. Over focused on what “needed” to be done, and being exhausted at the end of a long day.

I didn’t see my husband coming home, day after day feeling like all he was to me was a paycheck. All he needed was for me to wrap my arms around him and give him a great big kiss and tell him how important he was to me. He needed me. Not the me that is the mother, the housecleaner, the organizer. He needed me, his best friend, his love, his number one cheerleader.

Well, recently all of these things were brought to my attention. I was reminded in a very painful and difficult way, that my sweet husband, is a human being, with basic needs. I had begun to believe that he was someone that didn’t really have needs. He worked hard to tell me that was true, but in the end he was just fooling both of us.

As important as being a mother is to me, I have learned how much more important it is for me to be a wife. Frankly, the children will grow up and leave some day. They aren’t as invested in my family as I am, but my husband…that is a different story.

I am learning that working on my marriage is the most important work I can do. Even more important than raising good, well adjusted, well educated children. I am learning this lesson the hard way, (which isn’t unusual for me).

I have been trying for a few months now to ask my self these kinds of questions each day: Have you hugged your husband today? Have you showed him you love him? Have you thought of him before yourself in some area of your life today? Have you done something special for him today? Have you showed him how important he is to you today?

After all is said and done, isn’t having a healthy happy marriage the BEST thing you can do for your children?

Tags: Children, Husbands, Marriage
Filed under: Journal Entry

I have been noting that my dear children seem to be quarreling and fighting a lot lately. I am unsure if it is because of budding hormones, or what. Nevertheless, they have been fighting, arguing and generally making life unpleasant for each other.

When there is disharmony in my home I tend to begin to focus a lot on what is causing the disharmony and work hard to come up with a cure.The quarreling problem is no exception to this rule.

I have been reading and learning a lot about relationships lately, about the marriage relationship in particular. I have been reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary D. Chapman. In one part of the book it talks about how your spouse’s complaints are clues to discover their love language. I am also attending a class about marriage, and last week we were learning about communication. As I was sitting in class the two concepts collided.

My children’s arguing and quarreling ways were giving me specific clues as to what problems they are having. They aren’t communicating properly with one another. I also realized that I haven’t taught them about communication as specifically as they may be needing at this time.
My husband and I have been working hard since that epiphany to teach our children better communication skills. They are in no way perfect at it, after only a weeks practice, but I have noticed a significant drop in the quarreling!

This whole experience has taught me that the problems or disharmony we see in our children and in our families are HUGE blessings! Seeing problems gives us clues as to what changes need to be made in our families, or in ourselves for that matter.

Have you had any experiences with these kinds of clues in your family? I would love to hear about your experiences!

Filed under: Mom Notes

I received a wonderful surprise in my e-mail inbox this morning. A comment from someone who found my blog while searching for information about nobility in womanhood and joy in motherhood. This dear reader reminded me why I started Women As Mothers in the first place. This website was founded because of my desire to reach out to women in the world who have similar views of motherhood and womanhood. I believe that I had lost sight of that along the way. I had forgotten that I was sharing my journey, and I had felt I wasn’t reaching anyone anymore anyway. Now I know differently.

I have been through much in this last year. I have learned many things and I am learning much, and I believe, thanks to this dear reader, that it is time to share the things I am learning again. It is time to bring others on my journey again.

You may feel a different tone in my writing, I will be putting more of a focus on being a wife in addition to being a mother. I am learning much about what it means to be a wife right now. What I wish I had done differently in the past twelve years of marriage, and what I will do differently for the future.

Thank you dear reader. Thank you for reminding me that I love writing, and why I began in the first place! Stay tuned. I am writing again.

Tags: Motherhood, Wife, Writing
Filed under: Journal Entry

I just wanted to write an update on here in case anyone is still reading. The birth of my seventh went well, but it was extremely painful. The most painful I have ever experienced. To get a more detailed story visit my other blog at www.texasmuse.com.

Having seven children, being really active in my church and homeschooling keeps me really busy. I am enjoying this however and have learned that I can do hard and difficult things. It is a good feeling to know that I can have a pile of things to do and not much time and with the Lord multiplying my efforts, I can accomplish them all. “With God all things are possible.” I know this to be true.

Filed under: Children

If anyone is still reading this blog I think it has been since April that I wrote last. I guess that I am in a learning curve right now, and I will hopefully get to the sharing part of that curve some time.

I did have one bit of insight that I wanted to share. I was thinking about children and how differ. Since I am at the end of my pregnancy I have had that thought on my mind even more. The diversity that I have within my family is astounding. All of my children are so unique and I can’t really compare them to each other because of that fact. I used to believe when I only had one child that if a child was difficult it was the fault of the parent. I have been disabused of that notion. I have learned that a child can be really difficult and it is just the child’s personality. I have also learned that sometimes it can be a stage the child is going through and that it is temporary.

Anyway, that is my tidbit for today. Being unique is a gift from God. He created us that way and it doesn’t make you a bad mother if you have a unique or difficult child. That child probably has an important mission to fulfill in this life and you were the only one who could help that child prepare for that mission.

Thanks for reading!

Filed under: Journal Entry