When I first became a stay at home mother I had a very difficult time adjusting to life. I was used to being a working and independent woman. The first year of staying home was hard for me. I didn’t really know my place, or the influence or power I had over my young little family. I felt like every day was a chore. I hated cooking. Cleaning was not quite as bad, but I still felt like it was a never-ending job. I am sure you know how it is — you clean everything until all is spotless and beautiful and, within minutes, the house looks messy again.

I found the job of keeping house fruitless. I have always felt strongly that I should stay at home and raise my children, but I felt that it was not as fulfilling as my job had been. At work, I had conversations with adults and had breaks and dined out for lunch every day. I received recognition for a job well done.

We have all heard of thankless jobs before. When you have little children a mother’s work seems thankless, indeed. Please don’t misunderstand me. I have always loved being a mother, I just couldn’t find fulfillment as a homemaker. I didn’t realize at the time that I was at the beginning of a journey — A journey to find nobility in womanhood and joy in motherhood. Seven and a half years have passed since that time and the journey continues. I have by no means finished learning or growing in the areas of homemaker and mother, but I have picked up a few lessons so far that I would like to share.

Three or four years ago I was asked a question that changed my paradigm — I was asked to find the best word to describe a mother. The first words to come to my mind were teacher, leader, loving, gentle, kindness, etc. I was answered that these are all words that could describe the actions of a mother but are really no more than a laundry list from a mother’s job description. My mind came up blank! After this I was told that the word mother could best be described as creator. I didn’t quite understand the correlation so an explanation was given. A mother creates an environment for her family. A mother creates a place where we can learn. A mother creates an environment of safety and peace. Mothers create order. They create experiences and circumstances. They create meals. They create children within themselves. The list can go on and on. I was so surprised by this notion! I had never before thought of my daily routine as “creation.” This gave life so much more meaning to me!

That was the first of many new steps toward finding fulfilment as a mother. I began looking at life in a new way. I began experimenting with creation. In the kitchen, I started making new meals. Creating at dinner time is a great way to get started! Making a meal for your family is more than just feeding the masses. By creating a meal, you can have the opportunity to work with your children in the kitchen. I have a house full of picky eaters and I have found that when my children are included in the creation of a meal they tend more towards eating it. Cooking and baking are wonderful ways to get to know your children. Most of the time when cooking I no longer follow recipes. In fact, my family loves it when I tell them that tonight’s meal is an experiment. I began to discover that the more consistantly I cooked, the more my husband would enjoy coming home. I later spoke with him about this and he said that it meant a lot to him to have a meal on the table when he came home from work. Knowing this helped me to be even more consistant in the creating a meal department. I am serving my husband as well as making his return home more enjoyable.

Another aspect of creation is ordering our environment. I am sure all of you have felt at times that keeping house is a losing battle. I, too, felt this way, and therefore I began pondering and praying on the matter so that I could better understand the meaning in cleaning. This may sound silly, but there really is a deeper meaning to cleaning than meets the eye. Creation is the process of bringing order from chaos. Our world is constantly being brought down into chaos. When this chaos reaches a certain threshold, God steps in to clean up the mess. I am sure you can think of a few times this “cleaning” has been mentioned in the scriptures, for instance, Noah. After the cleansing has taken place, order can again be restored. Our homes are our miniature “worlds” as it were. Any time we restore order from chaos we are being like our Father in Heaven, so long as we are not enforcing order (That is another subject and I won’t digress at the moment. Just keep in mind that tyranny always brings misery and is the antithesis of order). As I began to realize that cleaning helps me understand God better, I began to find more fulfillment. As I have previously written, I have begun to find ways of involving the whole family in the “creating a clean and ordered environment” project. Since we homeschool, creating a learning environment is very important to me. This project is actually one that I am studying at this time. I will keep you posted on this story as it unfolds. I could include more of my ideas regarding creation, but everyone must create their own environments which are uniquely suited to their respective families.

We as women in our homes have a great power and influence. Have you ever heard the saying that “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” Have you found this to be true in your family? I sure have. I used to be extremely resentful of the fact that I could not have a bad day without it affecting everyone around me, even my wonderful husband. I have since come to realize that that is a great gift to us as mothers and wives. We do have the abilitly to spread misery and stress throughout our homes, but this also means we have the power to do the opposite as well. I have noted that when the house seems to be in turmoil and the children are picking at each other and everything seems to be heading towards chaos, I can walk through the house with a prayer in my heart and a song on my lips and change the whole mood of the home. I can straighten up a few things and say the right things and, almost magically, all becomes peaceful and happy in short order. I am grateful for this gift. I find the best time to employ this mood-changing method is right before my husband returns home from work. This also seems to be the time when it is most needed.

Being a mother, wife and homemaker are wonderful responsibilities. I am finding the journey to be most exciting! To anyone who has been told that it does not take brains, and skill to be a stay-at-home mom, I say whoever is talking has no inkling of the true power of women.

Filed under: Children, Journal Entry, Mom Notes