Quarreling Quandaries

I have been noting that my dear children seem to be quarreling and fighting a lot lately. I am unsure if it is because of budding hormones, or what. Nevertheless, they have been fighting, arguing and generally making life unpleasant for each other.

When there is disharmony in my home I tend to begin to focus a lot on what is causing the disharmony and work hard to come up with a cure.The quarreling problem is no exception to this rule.

I have been reading and learning a lot about relationships lately, about the marriage relationship in particular. I have been reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary D. Chapman. In one part of the book it talks about how your spouse’s complaints are clues to discover their love language. I am also attending a class about marriage, and last week we were learning about communication. As I was sitting in class the two concepts collided.

My children’s arguing and quarreling ways were giving me specific clues as to what problems they are having. They aren’t communicating properly with one another. I also realized that I haven’t taught them about communication as specifically as they may be needing at this time.
My husband and I have been working hard since that epiphany to teach our children better communication skills. They are in no way perfect at it, after only a weeks practice, but I have noticed a significant drop in the quarreling!

This whole experience has taught me that the problems or disharmony we see in our children and in our families are HUGE blessings! Seeing problems gives us clues as to what changes need to be made in our families, or in ourselves for that matter.

Have you had any experiences with these kinds of clues in your family? I would love to hear about your experiences!


2 Responses to "Quarreling Quandaries"

  • It is great that you can look at problems as positive things that leads us to growth. I really like the philosophy of the love languages. It is good to get to know what every person’s love language is so we can best meet their needs. Thanks for the reminder to look for that with my children and husband.

    1 Dianna said this (May 2, 2010 at 10:30 pm)


  • I absolutely LOVE that book, you may be interested in Lucille Johnson’s talks on marriage. I have a compilation of them on CD that has been an uplifting inspiration for both Cole and I to listen to and discuss -give her a try she’s wonderful! I’m so glad to see you are writing again keep up the good work!

    2 Jessica said this (May 3, 2010 at 4:29 pm)


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